


Under the snow, a new beginning

by Feelingsinwinter



Series: Under the Rain [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, It's all ok, M/M, Recovery, Steve Is a Good Bro, Tony Needs a Hug, Well - Freeform, a big bad hugs, bucky is angry, but he has a right to, i hope you will like it, though tony's not entirely responsible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 04:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14634588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feelingsinwinter/pseuds/Feelingsinwinter
Summary: After that fateful rainy day, Bucky had waited for Tony's call, for a message, for anything, really. But nothing came and time went by, crushing his hopes and bending his shoulders. He has given up any thoughts of seeing Tony again, at least not in a friendly way, when he finally sees him. Any anger and need to fight or scream leaves him when he lays eyes upon Tony.It looks like Tony's fighting too many battles already and Bucky is once again overcome with the need tohelp.





	Under the snow, a new beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this new part in the serie will pleases you! For a better understanding of it, you might want to read the very first part of it [Under the Rain (I met you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11966409) which will give you a background of how Tony and Bucky met. The other one ([The rain washes away the pain of yesterday](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12852033)) might help understand Tony's mindset and past but is not entirely necessary. 
> 
> You can read this one wihout any of it but, yeah, the first one could be useful. A huge, grateful thank you to [Dapperanachronism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperanachronism/pseuds/dapperanachronism) for beta-ing this and making sure this work is flawless on the grammatical/spelling/etc side of it, and to [Bill_Longbow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow) for helping me writing this and being their amazing selves. This story wouldn't be here without them, they helped a lot and I love them, thank you! <3

It’s been weeks since Bucky last saw him but the sudden movement in front of him, among the walking crowd, made Bucky snap to attention and sharpen his gaze. A mop of dark hair wasn’t specific to one person but despite knowing the statistics weren’t on his side, Bucky needed to be sure. The body was thin, thinner than Bucky remembered, but maybe it was his mind playing tricks. A habit it had taken since that rainy day. The hoodie looked familiar, and two or three size too big on the man’s smaller frame. The jean looked the same as that fateful day, although maybe rattier.

It was snowing like it hadn’t in years, the ground covered in a thick blanket of white powder. It has been going like this for a day or two and it kept falling, big balls of cotton catching on people’s hats and scarves, sticking out of unprotected hair. The man had no hat and no scarf, his shoulders were up almost to his ears and his hands were deeply stuck in the thin jean’s pockets.

It couldn’t be effective against that kind of cold.

Despite the thick, long scarf wounded around his neck and his wool cap, Bucky could still feel the cold, waring against the warm clothes to get to him. His thick jacket and his hoodie underneath were barely enough to keep him warm. It was hard to tell if he felt sorry for the man or resentful. Maybe it wasn’t him, maybe Bucky was just projecting and the poor guy was freezing his ass with nothing on his back and on the receiving end of Bucky’s resentment all the while not deserving it.

The thin silhouette ducked to the right and disappeared.

Fear struck like a bolt of lightning, straight to Bucky’s chest, and he ran the last meters separating him from the corner. He stopped there, taking in the dark alley. It looked like one of those he used, back in Brooklyn’s old time when he and Stevie got themselves in troubles and needed a place to hide.

There, crouched beside a dumpster and snow climbing up to his ankles, was the man Bucky had dreamt of kissing. Or punching, depending on his state of mind.

Bucky hadn’t been wrong.

“Tony?”

The frail, unprotected silhouette startled and whirled around, slipping in the snow and landing on his ass. Wide brown eyes stared back at Bucky, fear and shame and hope and a whole bunch of emotions going through Tony’s eyes and face, clear as day and at the same time hard to decipher.

“Bucky? Shit, you scared me,” Tony said, voice shaking.

“Yeah, well, I guess I’ll leave you to it. Sorry for the scare.”

Feelings were crap and bullshit and fucking annoying. There wasn’t anything he had wanted more than seeing Tony once again. To yell at him, scream his voice raw and fight back angry tears and disappointment. Now that he had him right in front of him, available and all ears to hear him out, Bucky wanted nothing more than to leave and forget all about Tony and giving him his number to never receive any phone call.

He turned on his heels, determined on going back home and maybe spend the rest of his day moping and sulking.

“What? No! Bucky wait!”

He heard shuffling behind him and Tony cursing but didn’t stop. He would not. The dead silence of his phone was answer enough, it was his turn to remain silent. Tony could have just sent a text, tell him he wasn’t interested. Even sweet lies would have been better than silence. Tony had seem so happy and eager, smiling brightly when Bucky had given him his phone number. He had seemed so honestly abashed when he had told him and Stevie he didn’t have a phone yet and would text him as soon as he had one. But Tony had pocketed the paper and swear he would contact him. Nothing had come and Bucky’s phone had remained desperately silent.

In the end, Bucky didn’t get a choice. The cursing got louder and closer, a hand clamped on Bucky’s upper arm but instead of finding himself turned around, he felt a hard tug and his feet slipped on the snow. He flailed uselessly, yelping as gravity took hold of him as he fell backward. Sprawled on the icy ground, Bucky groaned, angry words and venom ready to fire but Tony beat him to the punch.

Quicker than Bucky would have expected, Tony sat down, ass in the snow and looking like he didn’t give a shit about it.

“Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t call I got… They found…”

Tony clicked his mouth shut and growled, pulling at his hair and looking infuriated. Melting snow was leaking through Bucky’s collar but the chill that ran down his spine had nothing to do with it.

“I lost your number,” Tony said finally, slumping his shoulders. “I came back to the coffee shop a few days later but I couldn't find you. I tried again but…” He shrugged and looked at Bucky. “I have a phone now, I can give you my number. If you want to punish me and not call, you can, I’d understand.”

Slowly, Bucky stood up and looked down at Tony, still sitting in the snow and looking up at him. His cheeks were red and his lips almost blue, snow was melting in his hair and some might be going down his nape but Tony didn’t seem to react to it.

“You’re cold,” Bucky said gruffly.

“Yeah, well, it’s snowing,” Tony said with a shrug and rose to his feet, brushing off flecks of snow from his jeans, rubbing at his ass. Which might be numb after staying so long in the snow. Numb and wet. That couldn’t be comfortable.

Bucky couldn’t help but notice Tony’s hands. They were an angry shade of red, skin dry and about to crack open and spill blood. They were also covered in cuts and small wounds, some scabs had broken and were already bleeding. His nails were cut short, probably nibbled on on a daily basis and stained with a dark matter. A glance to Tony’s eyes, now that he was looking for it and able to go past their warm brown, showed the exhaustion and the dark circles underneath.

Tony looked nothing like the playful man who had mischievously made Bucky blush, laugh and smile like nothing could ever stop him. Today, Tony looked like he had fought to keep his right to smile, holding on with teeth and nails and the kind of determination only despair could provide.

It also appeared the battle was still ongoing.

Resignation settled in Bucky’s chest as he drew a heavy sigh, knowing himself enough to leave all pretense behind and accept what he knew he was about to do, despite reason and logic screaming at him not to.

“Listen, we can talk but I’d prefer if we’d do it somewhere warm.”

Somewhere where I wouldn’t have to worry about you dying in front of me, Bucky added to himself. Tony was shivering but didn’t seem to be aware of it, staring at Bucky with something like uncertainty and hope.

“My apartment is close by, c’mon,” he added, jerking his head toward the alley’s entry they came from.

It was still too far from anywhere Tony should go with that kind of clothes but closer than the nearest coffee shop. Besides, Bucky didn’t feel like going anywhere near any coffee shop with Tony anytime soon. It would be too familiar and too easy to fall back where he didn’t want to go.

Tony nodded, a small, shy smile starting to play on his lips as he came closer.

“Yeah, o-,” Tony stopped and frowned, frozen on the spot. He shook his head, seemingly confused. Then he looked back toward the dumpsters lining the alley’s walls and shook his head stronger. “Wait, no. I was here for a reason.” Tony made a first step back toward the dumpsters but stopped, looking unsure. He rubbed his hands, entirely unaware of the way it pulled on the brittle skin and drew out blood, and looked at Bucky. “Please don’t go?”

It felt like a punch to the gut and Bucky wondered about the fairness of feeling like he was the one who never called. He, of the two of them, was the one feeling guilty when he had been the one standing near his phone, looking at it with growing despair.

“I’m not the one who didn’t call,” Bucky bit out angrily.

Tony hunched in on himself, looking smaller and frailer. Bucky stomped on guilt and remorse, clenching his teeth to keep the apologies from spilling out. From under his metaphorical feet, the guilt still managed to slither and climb up his shoes to bite him.

“Need any help?” he gritted out, looking everywhere but in Tony’s direction.

Even though he wasn’t directly watching him, Bucky saw him shrug before stumbling toward the alley’s back, shoes soaked by the melted snow and slippery. Tony kneeled between two of the dumpsters, entirely unbothered by the filth lying underneath the snow and a soft smile playing on his lips despite the tightness of his eyes.

“It depends on if this is to your liking,” he said slowly, his words slightly slurred. From the ventral pocket of his hoodie, he drew out a thick towel that might have kept this part of him a little warmer than the rest, and laid it on his knees.

Bucky opened his mouth, a question already on his lips when he heard the first mewl and he closed it quickly. From between the dumpsters came a small, skinny white and grey kitten. It stumbled toward Tony, mewling louder as it came closer. Tony took it carefully and set it in his lap before gathering the towel around it. He then stretched and grabbed another one from where the first one had came, settling it in the towel where the kitten disappeared with an offended mewl. Tony was about to catch another one when he drew back his hands with a hiss, his eyes squinting despite the smile never leaving his lips.

“If your offer still stands,” Tony said lightly, directing his smile toward Bucky before looking down, his face doing a weird trick where it couldn’t choose between smiling and frowning sadly.

Bucky startled and before he knew it, he was kneeling in the freezing snow, feeling it dampening his jeans. Tony hesitated just a second before settling the wriggling towel in Bucky’s lap. When he took Bucky’s hands in his, making him startle at the icy fingers against his skin, he cradled them around the makeshift den. “Keep them warm, please.”

Bucky nodded dumbly, feeling under his palms the kitten moving without trying to escape, their little mewls sounding inquisitive and their little claws prickling at his skin. He couldn’t care less. Tony was crawling between the dumpsters, entirely unconcerned about lying face first in the snow, stretching and struggling to catch something. When he came back he was holding a furiously hissing and spitting black kitten. Bucky worried it might hurt Tony’s hands but then Tony cradled it against his chest and the hissing stopped almost instantly, the kitten curling up tightly.

“She’s scared,” Tony explained uselessly when he crossed Bucky’s eyes, dropping his to where the kitten was curled up in his hand, looking small and pitiful.

Tony took back his wriggling towel, arranging it around his proteges, careful and protective before holding it to his chest where the three cats where now staying. They were making attempt at escaping but Tony seemed to be taking care of it with enough ease that Bucky wondered if he had done it before.

“I came here for them,” Tony explained lamely, looking down at the cats before going cross-eyed when the white-grey one put its paw on his nose, little claws digging in the skin without making Tony react otherwise than a small wince. “I got an apartment last night, couldn’t take them in before,” he added, smiling when the cat tried to climb up his face.

“They can come too,” Bucky said gruffly.

Tony beamed up at him and Bucky’s heart went lighter in his chest. It felt like the first good idea he had since his decision to go on a walk, allowing him to meet Tony.

***

Later, when Steve came home and found Tony fast asleep on their couch, three kitten curled up in the crook of his neck and over his chest, he stared dumbfoundedly at his friend crouched right beside.

Bucky crossed Steve’s gaze and sighed like he had given up any chance at a fair fight, his gaze soft as it went back to the couch. Tony was breathing peacefully, his hair damp and peaking out of one of Bucky’s sweater. He was wrapped in a thick blanket and a second one had been thrown over him.

Steve frowned and stepped further into the room, taking off his jacket and putting it on a seat as he arched an eyebrow at his friend. Bucky shook his head and jerked his chin toward the kitchen so they could talk without waking Tony up.

Steve nodded and followed him, wondering what kind of change had happened and how Bucky had managed to find Tony. It wasn’t so long since Bucky’s bitterness about his phone staying desperately silent and his resolve to give up any hope concerning Tony. They had had a great time at the coffee shop but it wasn’t worth all the time Bucky had wasted glancing hopefully at his phone.

They closed the door halfway to keep the noise to a minimum all the while being able to keep an eye on Tony. Despite everything, the guy was mostly a stranger. Not one Steve was entirely bent on trusting either.

Bucky poured two mugs of hot chocolate and Steve smiled, wrapping his cold hands around it, delighting in the feeling of warmth spreading through his palms.

“So?” he pushed, looking patiently at his friend.

Bucky wouldn’t start talking, pushing him could either help or make it worse but Steve knew him well enough to detect which treatment he needed at the moment.

“He gave me his number,” Bucky mumbled to his chocolate, refusing to meet Steve’s eyes. “Lost mine few days after that day.” Bucky sighed heavily and raised his head, finally meeting his friend’s eyes. “I don’t know what to think but I’m not sure he did it on purpose.”

“You’re not sure or you want to believe?”

Bucky frowned and rubbed at his neck, “Both.”

“Listen,” Steve started before being interrupted by a weak mewl. He looked down to see one of the kitten previously curled up on Tony’s chest trudging into the kitchen and toward Bucky. Steve didn’t know shit about cats but this one looked terrifyingly small and weak. It stumbled at Bucky’s feet and then put both front legs on his pants, claws creaking and cracking on the jeans’ material, and started to climb its way up. Bucky winced, the prickling of claws startling an “ouch” out of him before he scooped the thing up and put it in his lap.

The kitten was of a pearly white though some patches of fur were of a light grey but it seemed to be more because of dirt than natural color.

“We washed them,” Bucky explained as he petted the white devil. It was now purring loudly in his lap, paws padding at his warm hoodie, turning around and around as if unable to stay still. “I think this one is white but we couldn’t get out all the dirt, Tony thinks its motor oil, it’ll take time to go off. I thought the third one was black but she’s grey. You should see her, she’s beautiful. And adorable.” Yeah, sure, Bucky was a sucker for strays and the smaller the worst it got. Tony was just the bigger Bucky had ever brought home.

“The one close to Tony’s shoulder?” Steve asked, remembering bright green eyes glaring at him from where the cat had its head nestled in Tony’s neck. Maybe it hadn’t feral but definitely wild enough to jump if provoked.

“Yeah. He crawled under a dumpster to get her,” Bucky snorted.

“In that snow!?” Steve shouted, horrified. The snow was inches thick and the wind was as cold as it got, it had been snowing since the day before and it kept on going like it would never end, snowflakes bigger than cotton balls.

Bucky shushed him hastily. In his surprise, Steve had also startled the kitten which was now hissing at him, fluffed out and tail bigger than its whole body. It looked like an angry dandelion and Steve couldn’t help but snort at the thought.

They waited, tense and alert, to see if Steve’s outburst had wakened Tony but nothing happened and they relaxed with a silent sigh. Bucky glared at his friend, turning his mug between his hands as he waited for the next question to be spoken.

He didn’t have to wait long.

“So, what are you planning on doing ‘bout it?”

Bucky shrugged. He never thought that far. Seeing Tony, about to die from cold and shivering so hard his teeth were clacking and his lips had turned a concerning shade of blue, had awaken the same feeling he had had, that fateful rainy day. Then, as they washed the kitten and tried to remain unscattered despite the little beasts wishes to scratch them to death, the feelings had followed the same path. Amusement. Fondness. Attraction. And what could become love one day, if Bucky allowed it.

That was the actual question, wasn’t it?

It wasn’t so long ago that Bucky had glared at his phone, heart squeezing painfully in his chest as the disappointment morphed into anger. He had felt betrayed over something that shouldn’t have taken that much importance. Tony had been one guy met by accident during a heavy rain. Just a guy, with nothing much taking him out of the lot. Yet, Bucky couldn’t shake him out of his thoughts.

Tony’s laugh and the way he scrunched up his nose, the sparkles it lit in his eyes. How Tony had wrapped himself in Bucky’s sweater and sniffed it, once or twice, when he thought Bucky wasn’t looking. The jokes, appropriate and inappropriate, that had been said that day. How Tony had been so confident and easy going, like he had nothing to fear and everything to hope for.

Somehow, that had changed except for how Tony looked ready to fight any fight that needed to be fought. It reminded Bucky of Steve but in a very different way. Steve would punch you in the face if provoked, always righteous and stubborn as all fuck. Tony looked like he might bite someone’s nose off and spit it back in their face if no other choice could be made.

Bucky shrugged again, rubbing his thumb against the ceramic, the smooth surface soothing his nerves has he spoke. “I don’t know any asshole who’d crawl in the snow for strays like he did.” He couldn’t help another shrug, glancing up at Steve. “I’m not sure he really lost my number,” he disclosed slowly, “but I’m sure he doesn’t have my number anymore, though not on purpose.”

Steve frowned, pondering Bucky’s words and trying to understand what meaning his friend was trying to convey without saying it aloud. Bucky was one hell of a bastard when it came about sharing facts. Either he outright said it without cutting around the bushes or he felt like giving a goddamn enigma and Steve had to figure it out on his own.

Soft noises came from the other side of the kitchen’s door and they both turned around to see Tony, hair sticking in every direction and rubbing his eyes like a four years old, shuffling inside. He looked at them with blurry eyes, stumbling until he sat, more like dropped, on a stool. Bucky let out a soft snort and rose to his feet, pouring a third mug of hot cocoa and settling it in front of Tony.

Steve watched in horror as Tony took immediately hold of the mug and drank straight from it.

As scalding hot chocolate went down his throat, the guy froze for a second before slowly, very slowly, putting down the mug, looking at it like it had betrayed his mother, his father and all of Tony’s family. He then looked up, frowning - Steve had to admit it even to himself - adorably at them.

“This is not coffee and you are not Rhodey.”

“No shit Sherlock,” Bucky snorted, a smile curving his lips.

Tony looked around, confused and lost. Still frowning a little, he went back to his mug and sipped it slowly and carefully, much to Steve’s relief.

The kitten in Bucky’s lap wriggled out of his hiding spot and climbed clumsily on the kitchen’s table to go and headbutt Tony’s hand, startling him out of his doze. He blinked at the kitten, staring at it until recognition lit up his face and he grinned brightly. With more care than he had any reason to, he cradled the little thing in his hands and held it against his chest. The kitten headbutted him as hard as it could, wriggling in his hold as Tony nosed at the kitten’s head. It purred like a small engine, squirming and pawing, trying with all its might to smother Tony in cuddles.

“Oh, I remember now,” Tony whispered. Relief seemed to wash over him and his shoulders relaxed. Tony looked up at Bucky and mouthed a “thank you” over the kitten’s head, which was purring loud enough that Steve feared it might shatter apart. The two remaining kitten trudged into the room and, as the white one had done it before, climbed up Tony’s pants’ legs to settle in his lap. They seem happy to stay there, even though the grey one glared at Steve and, in equal measure, at Bucky.

Tony rubbed his eyes with one hand, the second resting over the three kitten now curled up in his lap, purring softly. They were so tightly wrapped around each other it was a hardship to find where one began and the other ended.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have slept on your couch,” Tony said, looking at his mug. He then glanced up at Steve. “Hi Steve, I’m-uh… it’s nice to see you again,” he said lamely.

There was a very, very big part in Steve that wanted nothing but to be mean and retort something meant to hurt. That part, however, was quickly fading in the face of Tony’s misery. There was no point in ignoring the way the hands wrapped around the mug were clumsily dressed-up, some with a bit of blood peeking through the band-aids. Despite his nap in their couch, Tony’s eyes were puffy with lack of sleep and dark circles laid under them. He looked thinner than the day they had met, which was some kind of a challenge since the guy hadn’t been much of a weight back then.

“I’m happy to see you too, Tony,” he said carefully, unable to put everything aside but still observant enough to see the clues Bucky had probably seen too. “I’m gonna leave you to it,” he added with a look to Bucky, “I’ll be in my room.”

Tony’s eyes widened instantly and Steve was sure enough that if Tony hadn’t had the kitten sleeping peacefully in his lap, he would already be up and ready to dart from the room. He looked enough like a startled bunny for that.

“You shouldn’t have to. I’ll go,” Tony said, wriggling off his seat without disturbing his charges. Though he frozen before he could set foot on the ground, realizing he was wearing yet again Bucky’s clothes and would have to leave with them or stay longer to take back his own.

“Stay here, Tony. I don’t mind,” Steve said with an eye-roll, “that way maybe I won’t have to put up with a grumpy, sulking Bucky any longer. You’d do me a favor, really.”

Bucky squawked loudly but Steve ducked out of the room before he could be cursed to hell and back. Not even a second after he had closed it, something thudded heavily against the kitchen’s door and Steve wondered what Bucky had thrown at him to make that kind of noise.

***

Hours later, when he heard the entry door close, Steve listened to Bucky’s footsteps as he approached his bedroom. A soft smile playing on his lips, Steve waited patiently, fake-reading his book as Bucky stood behind the door, probably fretting or second guessing pretty much everything he could second guess and then some.

After some time, though, Bucky knocked quickly and entered without waiting, padding across the room to come and sit beside Steve, his whole right side almost plastered against Steve’s left. Bucky stayed silent and Steve left him, this was one of those moment Steve had to leave him gather his thoughts and leave him to decide what to say.

It took him a handful of second but Bucky finally looked up, eyes clear and a shy, hesitant smile curling up his lips.

“I’ve got a date.”

Well, Steve thought, it could either go well or be a disaster.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr!](http://feelingsinwinter.tumblr.com/)


End file.
